Christmas is a time of cheers. Every time it’s coming I feel like my heart leaps for happiness and joy. Maybe it’s because I have something to look forward to. Yes, I really think it’s the reason.
I was always excited every Christmas because we would have our get together party with my family for two days(that’s exclusively for my parents, my two sisters with their husbands and kids), in my parents home in Bukidnon.
One day a month more or less before Christmas last year, when I and my family went to a mall I was actually going to pay some toys and gifts for our get together party when I suddenly changed my mind and returned each one to their places. I didn’t know why I just felt it should not be the exact time to buy. Probably, it was an intuition. Because later, 8 days before Christmas. I had a very nice sleep that I woke up almost 7 am already. I went directly looking for my mobile phone as I usually do upon awakening after saying a little prayer. I got 12 miss calls and a lot of text messages. When I read on, it’s my sisters’ message that says I have to hurry up because my father was rushed to the hospital. He had a heart attack at 4am while hearing mass for the 2nd night of Mesa de Gallo. When I went to the hospital my father was more terrified than sick. He was still able to move all of his body parts. Although he hadn’t said a single word, because he had aphasia for more than 2 years ago since then resulting from a mild heart attack. I could sensed that he was not comfortable being hospitalized. In fact, he really got fear in injections and all hospital stuff. But he got no choice, as well as all of us; he should be confined in the hospital. If it’s just alright not to do it then we would, but we know it’s really difficult because it’s his second heart attack. Although he looked alright but we should really follow the doctors’ advice. One or two hours while he was in his hospital room already, he wrote a note that says” his heart is aching”. So the doctor right away ordered that he would be place in ICU for close monitoring. After a day, he was transferred back to his room because he was stable already. He could still eat well, laughed with us, and moved his whole body. Not until the night when he was already in his room, thinking everything was well I went home to get some things. He had a heart attacked again that night; the nurses didn’t even notice it. When I arrived in the morning, he could no longer move his left arms and legs. He got stroke. But he was kind of poking his head with his right hand. So I told the doctor right away that he might have a headache. So the doctor ordered a cranial CT scan. Never did we expect the result to have ¼ of his brain have blood clot already. It was so depressing and painful when the doctor told us that my father had only 4 days minimum to survive this stage and that a miracle from God would be the last recourse. What can you do with those 4 days? As a daughter, it made me realized that whatever failures and mistakes your father has done, when this time arrived. Everything would be forgotten, everything would be forgiven. Honestly, it was really painful. My father was not perfect. As a father, he was strict but I understood the reason for it. He just wanted the good and best for us. As a policeman, I knew from his colleagues and friends that he was a strong-willed man, very devoted to the service of the people though it was already known that he was a real coward of witches. He always told us, “I am not afraid of people at least I see them not like witches.” He was sincere and true to his profession. So that when he retired from the job, he couldn’t just stay inside the house and watched. He wanted to serve the people. He really has a heart to his fellowman. So that when he runs in the local election, he won two times as a Barrio Chairman and once as first Barrio Councilor. That time I concluded that he was being loved by the people because he was voted by the majority of them in our place. He could no longer speak during the time when he was a councilor. So when the next election came we advised him to just support the local government without running in the office anymore. As we felt, it was already hard for him to handle things. So that he devoted his remaining years in serving the church instead. He was inside the church at 4 am when he got his second heart attack last December 17, 2008. After the doctor told us that he was only given 4 days to survived, he was then transferred back to the ICU. The first 4 days were crucial. We hardly even spoke, because for sure the tears would ran down our face. But we were determined; we have to let Papa feel that he was being loved even for the last time. We were there holding his hand 24 hours a day, yes that’s true, we were having time shifting that even his grandchildren were there. With prayers from us and his friends, he surpassed the 4th day. But then after more than a week, he got a hospital acquired infection. The first and second bacteria that infected him have been treated. He was given the highest kind of drug for the last bacteria which is klebseilla. Until the sputum culture result came that he was resistant to the drug. The pulmonary doctor said there’s no higher drug she could give my father. She said it’s up for us if we still let him stay in the hospital or just bring him home. Honestly, though sometimes we could think of some negligence in the part of the nurses why my father got this infection and stroke but never did we took it against them because we know that there were reasons why God allowed these things to happen. Perhaps, He just made each one an instrument for His ultimate plan. In our part, we tried everything we can. We were more than willing to give my father what he needed even if it made us end up in lending companies and borrowed money from our friends. We were determined that he would survived this situation. But still we prayed to God that if He would really take him, at least after Christmas and New Year. Indeed, we had a very memorable Christmas and New Year ever. For the first time it brought my family into a get together not only 2 days as we usually have but the whole Christmas season. We thanked God for it. But then we had mistaken in our prayers because we forgot the Valentines Day. So that on February 4, 2009. He had his last heart attacked. It was more painful than the second attack yet we decided to let him go. We no longer asked God for him to survive for more days if it would only caused him more pain. The good thing was he never let us anymore watched him struggled for breath. He just went flat line and was pronounced dead at 5:15 am on February 5, 2009 after several tries to revive him. It was painful but yet we found a relief in the sense that we would no longer see him cry and gnaws in pain while suctioning his tracheostomy tube. We would no longer see him suffering from emotional pain knowing he can not talk and move his left body. And a relief that God had finally taken him back to His loving care. I knew that by the moment he died, he had already cleansed himself. With our prayers and all the people who prayed for Him, I believed that God was with Him when he left us. So how about our Valentines Day? Well, we were there in his grave, still all of us. There was no one missing, we’re still united in “love”.
As I write this, I can’t help but cry. I just miss my Papa. But I know God had taken him with Him in heaven. I thank God for giving us the chance to take care of my father for almost 2 months. It was worth a lifetime. The memories will always be remembered. The very memorable one was the times when he farts so loud and he would laugh at it until he almost cried.
To Papa: We thank you for everything. We love you. We will miss you. We will pray for you always. Don’t worry about us. God is so good He will take care of us.
To my Papa’s colleagues, friends, family, relatives and all the people who in one way or another have shared their expertise, time, financial capability, prayers during Papa’s hospitalization and wake: In behalf of my family we thank you for all your support. We will always remember that without your help, we can’t do it all alone. May God bless you more!
Thanks to my daughters Nicole and Nikka for helping me choose the title of this blog!
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